I’ve seen this quote from Alexander Den Heijer used a few times now, in the context of using flowers as an analogy for children:
‘When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows. Not the flower’
The analogy really works for me.
It feels especially pertinent to us right now, as we’ve been trying to decipher what makes certain environments inaccessible to our eldest son.
From an environment perspective it can sometimes be very difficult to identify what is contributing to him being unable to access certain places, but we are learning to become ‘environment/trigger detectives’.
We know that he:
- Loves very quiet environments
- Experiences bright sunlight like ‘a fire in his eyes’ (his words)
- Finds it hard to sit still in one spot for long
- Feels restricted and uncomfortable in some clothing
- Dislikes hot weather and struggles with Interoception
- Is very sensitive to smells
- Is usually unable to use toilets outside of our home (requesting ‘jungle wees’ where ever possible)
- Needs to have a ‘safe’ adult, whom he trusts, close by to help him regulate
This list is not him being over sensitive or high maintenance.
T has sensory needs, referred to as sensory sensitivities in his Autism diagnosis report, which need to be met for him to feel comfortable.
‘Fixing’ the Environment
The Alexander Den Heijen quote states that, in the case of a flower failing to bloom, we would fix the environment. The question we’ve been asking ourselves is - how do we do this for T?
To ‘fix’ a low functioning environment and make it a ‘high functioning’ environment, where a child can flourish, Greg Santucci notes that the environment should meet a child’s sensory needs. This makes absolute sense to us.
The Infographic lists the following factors, as considerations for creating a sensory safe or high functioning environment:
- Auditory
- Visual
- Movement
- Tactile
- Taste/Smell
- Interoception (being able to access a toilet)
- Human Environment
It is free to download at www.gregsantucci.com
This list aligns to some of the things we’ve noticed about how T responds to certain environmental factors. It certainly gives us a fantastic steer for beginning to create and/or recognise sensory safe environments, where T and O can flourish.
Sensory Safe Environments
Our last blog on ‘The F Words’ was about how the boys natural instincts for survival can be triggered. It makes sense to me that when an environment is ‘low functioning’ or not sensory safe those instincts will be triggered much more frequently.
Understanding how we can create sensory safe environments is so important for us, because, without understanding this, I don’t believe that the other adjustments we are making will have the desired effect.
The sort of adjustments we are learning to make, which we feel go towards making our home sensory safe, are:
- We don’t use appliances that make noises, which the boys are sensitive to, while they are awake
- We keep the curtains drawn on bright days and are working to set up more play areas in shady areas of the garden
- We are trying to declutter (it’s an ongoing and very slow process)
- We have set up a sensory den
- We are flexible about how the boys eat. Often they may need to get up and wander around for a bit at meal times
- We allow the boys to sit on all areas of the sofa. T favours hanging off the arms, in a sloth like posture, when he’s in a state of freeze
- The boys both have sets of sensory friendly clothing and we are flexible on what shoes they wear (if weather allows)
- We have a weighted blanket and box of fidget toys/chew items
- We don’t wear aftershave or perfume and we try not to use anything strong smelling in the house while the boys are awake
- We have crunchy and spicy snacks available for O
- We stock up on safe foods
- We have access to sensory activities like play dough, kinetic sand, soft play blocks and water play
- We understand that the boys have a need for Co-regulation with their trusted adults (mummy and daddy)
It’s early days for us and we’re still very much learning what does work for the boys and what doesn’t, but we are certain that there is value in what we are doing.
Yes, Environment Matters
There’s another quote, which I think shares the idea that, if a living creature is struggling, it is the environment that should change and not the individual.
It is this quote from Albert Einstein, which says:
‘Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing it is stupid’
Both Alexander Den Heijer and Albert Einstein’s quotes talk about living entitys not being able to reach their full potential in an environment that is not suited to them. They both infer that it is not the flower or animal that should change.
I believe humans are the same and the analogy between flower and human or fish and human works. We will not reach our full potential in adverse environments.
When our sons have been struggling with an environment, I have heard phrases like:
‘They’ll be fine’
‘They need to learn to cope’
’Don’t be silly, this isn’t too…..’
I think it’s so important that we learn to appreciate how challenging environments can be for children, or adults, with sensory needs. It is not these individuals that need to change. It is their needs that need to be met.
Acceptance and inclusion is so important for our family.
I’d love to hear those phrases I have heard be replaced! For example:
‘They’ll be fine’
replaced with
‘I understand they may struggle with X, what could we do to cater to their needs?’
’They’ll need to learn to cope’
replaced with
‘I understand that this environment is challenging for them, what could we do to cater to their needs?’
‘Don’t be silly, this isn’t too…’
replaced with
‘I understand that this could be difficult for you. We could do…… to make things easier’
It is not unreasonable for an individual to leave an environment if their needs are not being met.
Our hope is that we can teach our sons to become excellent ‘environment detectives’, identifying what works for them, so that they can advocate confidently for their needs. Through finding places that promote acceptance and inclusion they will be able to reach their full potential.
There are other factors which will play a part in how they are able to interact with the world, but if they can master understanding the impact of an environment on how they feel, we think it will be invaluable to them.
Everyone deserves to be able to reach their full potential and set their genius free ❤️💜